Men are Like Buses?

At twenty one years of age, I was an idealistic, albeit naive, young woman with only my whole life ahead of me. The future loomed with possibilities-all good. And not just possibilities, but opportunities disguised as choices. I didn't consider being turned down by an academic program for a better candidate, or schools rejecting me for financial reasons. "Things will work out, of course," is the mantra idealists chant. And without even realizing it I internalized this philosophy. The only problem was narrowing the choices down and following one path.

So when I heard "advice" from older, experienced people, I shrugged it off as bitter cries from those who didn't seize their opportunities and resented me for pursuing mine. It was their own fault. I overheard things like, "Don't worry about love. Just look for a man who has a job, doesn't beat you,and doesn't run around on you." Or, "Back in the old days, people didn't think about what they wanted to do for a career, they had children to support!" And of course, "Wait to get married! That lovin' feeling doesn't last." I just think how low can one's expectations go? You can do whatever you want to do. Why not do it?

Then the disappointments slowly trickle in, chipping away at the armor.Being talented in a particular area, for example, does not insure recognition, immediate success, a paycheck, or even understanding. Look at VanGogh. Ask famous people who have "made it" and they will tell you it took years of working at their craft to suddenly get "discovered." And who knows of the hundreds, maybe thousands, of nameless souls who work just as hard, but remain in obscurity behind desks or waiting tables.Each workday is a reminder of one's failure. Their dreams, sold out to a steady paycheck,are left to drown in the once beautiful horizon of "the future."

Yet, there is a way to reconcile the idealism of youth with the realism of experience. There must be...Like Tom Hanks' character in the movie Cast Away, in order to move to a better place, the old comforts must be abandoned-Wilson-in order to keep that which will carry one to a safe place. But it is not enough that he remains alive. When he has nothing else to cling to, he has hope. He "breathes in and out..." and looks for a new door to open. Not surprisingly, at the end of the movie he stands at a crossroads and chooses a new path. Youth and its enthusiasm along with age and its wisdom both play a role in life. Neither needs to be mutually exclusive; With moderation and balance they complement each other.
Now when the "old people" say men are like buses:Either there are none or they all come at the same time, I chuckle, and look for my bus.