Thursday, September 09, 2010

Come to me love
Come to me life
I wait anxiously
through suffering and strife,
a chance to be heard,
a chance to fall down,
called an opportunity...sometimes pain all around.
What does it mean...to win or to lose?
To have much or have little
Do we really choose?
I've met love
I've met life
I've been up
I've been down
I've seen the sky
My face hit the ground



Let's Make A Deal is Real

I remember those lazy summers. Nothing to do and no cares in the world. The agenda included
1. Ramen noodles for lunch
2. Opening a fire hydrant, or for the "good kids" donning swimwear and catching each other with the garden hose
3. Revisiting Rawhide, the Jeffersons, Mel's Diner, TMNT, and of course, Let's Make A Deal as if I were to be tested on the content the first day of school. "Michaelangelo's weapon was the knumchucks for sure!"

Opening my own business surprisingly took me back to those days. I had always wanted to be one of the lucky people chosen to run down the aisle on "Let's make a deal." What made them get chosen out of a sea of faces anyway? Their crazy outfits? Their enthusiasm? Alll I knew was if I had the opportunity to play, I'd definitely win. It's common sense! The price of laundry detergent. Ha! A bedroom set. Come on! Watching the contestants flounder with self doubt on some of the simplest tasks could be comical. And the worst-those who chose the seen item versus taking a chance on door #2, which was always a better choice. "What a waste!" I would inevitably muse patronizingly as, "A brand new car!" is revealed from behind the curtain.
Who would have thought I'd live "Let's make a deal?" And end up eating my words. Yum...

I can't tell you how many times I've heard the same question since becoming a licensed massage therapist. "WHY?" Why did I choose to become an LMT? Why would anyone choose to struggle. To work so hard for so little? Especially since I am an RN. If I choose to, I could be making $50,000 plus a year. Instead I'm struggling, pinching pennies and betting it all on a massage therapy practice.
How much is happiness worth? Purpose? Fulfillment? For me, it has been years of failure, misdirection and starts and stops, and yes financial sacrifice. I've learned a whole lotta perserverence.I have hoped, despaired, been encouraged by small gains, devastated by losses, and hoped yet again. I will never stop.Who knows? I may be able to make twice or three times what I could as an RN. I can employ others. Though the risk is great the possibilities are endless. Even if I fail miserably, I will never stop dreaming and trying to realize those dreams.
I'm going for door #2! OR BUST

Maybe you shouldn't be a massage therapist if...

  • You're claustrophobic
  • You have a problem with sweat... or dirt... or strange smells
  • You have narcolepsy
  • Talking is one of your strong points
  • Thinking is one of your strong points
  • You'd like a stable income
  • You have issues with personal space
  • You have a thing with feet
  • You hate awkward silences
  • You put yourself first