As I lay in bed, trying to get the strength to get up and prepare for another day of torture...uggh or what the majority of people call "work," I realize this: There's something I missed in grade school that is fundamental to survival in what we colloquially call, "the real world."
Being nice doesn't get it done.
This world is full of snakes, wolves, sharks and any other historically evil creature one can imagine. And one can succeed only as well as one is prepared to deal with these animals.
The reality is that I have had to change my expectations.
Life is not fair. Just because you treat people well, say "please" and "thank you," does not mean you will get the same in return. Being a good person does not mean that nothing bad will happen to you-God forbid. And as much as you may want everything to work out in life, I have seen many an elderly person die full of regrets and broken relationships.
People say things they don't mean. They have their own reasons, which are mostly egoistic and self motivated. Don't immediately assume people are honest. Do not take their word at face value if you have not established a level of trust. Know how to spot a lie and a liar.
Your boss doesn't care about you.
Your family may or may not.
Friends? Rarely
One would think this topic of conversation is depressing, but I have found it to be liberating actually.
Understanding these truths helps me to deal -and not just cope, but thrive.
I am a strong person who can take care of herself, and nothing anyone does to me can keep me down.
With faith in God and confidence in myself, I can meet any and all challenges. If I made it through this job for a year and a half, I can do anything!
In my adult life, I have learned to say this, "KISS MY A** BEYOTCHes!"
Thursday, September 06, 2012
Thursday, June 07, 2012
Play Fair
I definitely have seen way too many Disney movies in the course of my childhood. This thought occured to me sometime after my thirtieth year, although I can't pin it down any more than that.
I looked around me. I guess it's that type of self assessment one does at a landmark such as thirty, in preparation for the big mid life crisis. I was definitely gathering my evidence:
1. Middle-class wage in a job that takes a little piece of my soul in addition to the 40-60 hours a week.
OR
1. Noncomittal, semi-fun job that barely allows me to scrape by
2. ok car that runs but has two doors from two different cars. Found searching all day in the sun at multiple junk yards
OR
2. Shiny, new car that comes with a five year note
3. A mostly bad marriage
OR
3. Single and lonely
4. No friends
OR
4. Friends who hurt me
Wow, that's getting depressing. Why don't I stop there?
The point is I didn't marry the dream guy, don't live in the dream house, not working a career that I love, driving a fabulous car. Not surrounded by fabulous people.
I don't have the happy ending I always thought my life would be. But reality never really measures up to what is in your mind's eye, so maybe that's the unfair advantage happiness holds.
My only question is this...Why are people sooo mean? How does this help anything? It feels like the world is a dangerous jungle and everyone has to look out for themselves. Why?
Is everyone so unhappy that they want to spread it around?
My coworkers, for example. Unecessarily hostile. Aren't we all working together towards the same goal. What the heck have I ever done to you? Geez. My life is hard enough without having to deal with so many jerks. But that's my idealistic, formerly naive, care bear side that thinks if people just understood each other, they would all get along.
The truth is everyone is looking out for themselves. they are proud, bossy, arrogant, butt kissing, unjust and unfair.
yet I cannot let go of the dreams in my heart. Even if they never come to pass, I always seem to return to the hope that I will find an awesome job, my marriage can improve. If I work hard enough, maybe I can buy that house and car. Maybe, maybe...I can make more friends.
And maybe, justice does indeed exist-and I can have mine
Hope does spring eternal.
I looked around me. I guess it's that type of self assessment one does at a landmark such as thirty, in preparation for the big mid life crisis. I was definitely gathering my evidence:
1. Middle-class wage in a job that takes a little piece of my soul in addition to the 40-60 hours a week.
OR
1. Noncomittal, semi-fun job that barely allows me to scrape by
2. ok car that runs but has two doors from two different cars. Found searching all day in the sun at multiple junk yards
OR
2. Shiny, new car that comes with a five year note
3. A mostly bad marriage
OR
3. Single and lonely
4. No friends
OR
4. Friends who hurt me
Wow, that's getting depressing. Why don't I stop there?
The point is I didn't marry the dream guy, don't live in the dream house, not working a career that I love, driving a fabulous car. Not surrounded by fabulous people.
I don't have the happy ending I always thought my life would be. But reality never really measures up to what is in your mind's eye, so maybe that's the unfair advantage happiness holds.
My only question is this...Why are people sooo mean? How does this help anything? It feels like the world is a dangerous jungle and everyone has to look out for themselves. Why?
Is everyone so unhappy that they want to spread it around?
My coworkers, for example. Unecessarily hostile. Aren't we all working together towards the same goal. What the heck have I ever done to you? Geez. My life is hard enough without having to deal with so many jerks. But that's my idealistic, formerly naive, care bear side that thinks if people just understood each other, they would all get along.
The truth is everyone is looking out for themselves. they are proud, bossy, arrogant, butt kissing, unjust and unfair.
yet I cannot let go of the dreams in my heart. Even if they never come to pass, I always seem to return to the hope that I will find an awesome job, my marriage can improve. If I work hard enough, maybe I can buy that house and car. Maybe, maybe...I can make more friends.
And maybe, justice does indeed exist-and I can have mine
Hope does spring eternal.
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